I'm struck reading this poem how many of your poems are about man's exchanges with nature, and how the human world often works against the sublime. The comment to the dead raccoon here seems pretty harsh, but it fits in with the general theme of many of these cinquains. I'd cut the elipsis at the end of the second line, as that conveys a trailing off, when, in fact, I think you want it to feel like two quick jolts.

jd
 

Author's Note: Removed ellipsis.